Comments on: I’m sure you’ve heard by now

By: Anita

Anita — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 18:46:30 +0000

I’m a little put off by some people’s attitudes regarding veganism. It’s as if by choosing to be vegan you are becoming a superior human being….becoming vegan is a choice. Many people are unaware of food practices and the cruelty involved in the production of meat. Rather than judge meat eaters for eating meat, consider that they don’t know what you do. As for dating a meat eater – everything is compromise in a relationship. Ultimately it boils down to what you are willing to compromise and the respect you have for yourself, your partner and their sacrifices, and vice versa.

However, calling a meat eater a fascist for doing what they have done all of their lives is a bit much.

By: vegmonger

vegmonger — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:05:41 +0000

I am a vegan dating a non-veg. I hate it. My other half used to be a full blown meat eater without a care in the world and then started dating me. When this happened the idea was pondered on for the first time and vegetarianism was given a try. For almost three years. I got used to this. Meat was only eaten a couple times of year when home made dishes were provided that gave way to heavily traditional and nostalgic feelings that the temptation could not be avoided. This, I could handle and we could share a lot. I love sharing with the ones I love. Little did I know that my own beliefs and their strength made the decision making on the other end horrible and crippling and that gave way to resentment and a horrible feeling of not being able to make ones own choices. It exploded. We almost broke up. We are coning to the understanding that this will not go away for either of us and the decision is, on my part a life long past and future and the focus of my life personally and professionally and on the other part this is the way of life for him, it has been and while not closed to vegan dishes, veganism is not a chosen way of life, and may never be. Learning the acceptance has been and is the hardest. I have to get over the fact that meat will be consumed by this person that I love. What does that mean for me? I love this person, even though they chose to participate in a life style that I find cruel and unnecessary, harmful and disgusting, horrifying and spiritually dangerous, thoughtless, heartless and unhealthy and……. reality; the social norm. My so’s perspective is that of, I need to be able to make my own choices, I don’t see how an animals life is any more or less than my own, if it got to me first I couldn’t be upset because it is nature. It is messed up that the animals have to suffer for me to eat, but that is this life. I don’t want the ridicule from my family and friends and I don’t want to have a disconnect form my culture and I will never force my decisions on anyone. I am open to vegetarian cooking and have reduced the amount of meat I eat, but have to stand my ground for the things I want.
Very compelling, however the break is still there. My s.o. thinks I should not worry about the meat eating, it is not my choice and that is fine. But I am faced with the reality that this changes who that person is. How can I stay with and therefore vicariously condone the consumption of animal products and … be okay with it… I don’t know what will happen but we are going to try. As for kids… I have no clue….

By: eard

eard — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 06:42:29 +0000

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By: nilipilificatrix

nilipilificatrix — Wed, 20 May 2009 14:05:15 +0000

Dear vegancharlie:

You defined very well what kind of people vegans are:

Someone that considers themselves, “superior, Compassionate, with the “proper” etic and moral, and poor man kind are something like an inferior race, or ignorant or.. and so on.

Where did i eard this before? OH! JA! those ones that you describe:

“a racist bigot, a religious fundamentalist, a communist, a fascist, or a serial killer! “

By: Crazy Vegan Mom

Crazy Vegan Mom — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:12:08 +0000

I am strict vegan, my dh is not. We started dating in high school before I became vegan. I would have a much harder time now dating a non vegan. As for my dh, he is a very compassionate person and has grown over the years. He no longer eats red meat, drinks soy milk, etc. and I am hoping he will continue on this path.

As for our kids, it was a deal breaker. I told him I would not have children if I could not raise them as vegans. There was no way I would bring more meat eaters into this world.

So, if I was not married, here are my thoughts;

on the one side, I would have a hard time dating someone who was not compassionate enough to live a vegan lifestyle. However, I think some people just don’t realize things. Some people are good and just uninformed. I see that my dh has changed his eating habits quite a lot and that he may not have made those changes if he wasn’t married to a vegan, therefore, maybe by my being with a non vegan, I am making more of a difference. Ok, I don’t know, I am now rambling, but you get the idea.