This Isn’t About Veganism

This isn’t about veganism. This is about the fact that I’m struggling right now.

Last year, my dad died and I moved back in with my mother. We adopted a rescue beagle who has tummy issues. I am financially responsible for this family, and I take that responsibility very seriously.

I don’t have a large support circle, and I have intentionally set myself up that way. I refuse to let people use Facebook as a crutch for maintaining “friendship,” because, let’s be honest – Facebook isn’t about friends. I’ve also had to let go of friendships that weren’t nurturing or supportive, or that promised more than they gave. I try not to say I will do something for you unless I will actually do it. I must confess, this also means I might say no to something you think I should say yes to, but better a firm no than a flaky yes.

I am judgmental. I don’t think this is a secret – I am disappointed by people – usually as a whole, but sometimes as individuals, too. And I include myself in this judgment. I am so hard on myself. Is this fair to me? Is this fair to anyone?

I find that I have little patience. I find that I want people to just “wake up” and change. I find that I want people to read my latest post now, right now, and comment on it, and share it, and listen to me, dammit!

I am very much ensconced in my world right now. It’s all about me, though logically I know that statement couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not all about me. It’s about all of us, human and non-human, and then, it’s about something much bigger than us as well.

I’m struggling with the possibility that this, this present, this here and now, is all that the future holds. And that’s daunting.

Change? That’s daunting, too. Risk? How do you risk what you know for the unknown in a world that seems to be on the brink?

Change and risk are necessary if we are ever going to live lives worth living. I don’t want to look back over years where things didn’t progress. Can you imagine the fates of many, being held captive by mass ambivalence? It’s happening around you, every second of every day. We’ve all heard the ill-given advice: keep your head down and dig in. Instead, I say, look up. Look up and move forward. Look beyond your world, and your problems, and remember how lucky you are to have a roof over your head and a supermarket to shop at, perhaps even a car to drive and money with which to gas it up regularly. Don’t forget that there are billions of animals – human and non-human – who understand the word “struggle.” Don’t try to compare struggles if it won’t make a positive impact on your mindset. Yes, it could be worse. Of course it could. But thinking about how it could be worse doesn’t propel you forward into the possibility that it could also be better.

Look at it this way. “Free range” and “happy meat.” They’re supposed to be a huge benefit for animal welfare. It could be worse, after all – CAFOs and torture. But let’s not forget that it could be so much better: it could be a fallen industry, where animals aren’t pushed into existence to live a life not worth living, and where human beings aren’t exploited into working jobs for little pay and with little benefit because hey, no one else will. Make no mistake: the exploitation that makes up the food industry doesn’t stop at the cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, and goats.

I am struggling, but my struggles have very little to do with veganism. I will make it through this time in my life; logically I know this. And no matter the hardships, no matter the obstacles, I will not forget what it is I stand for.

Photo credit: Joe Philipson via Flickr