about Vegan Lunch Box? I really like this blog. I have been a fan for a couple of years now. It’s about a mom (Jennifer Shmoo) who makes groovy vegan lunches for her little shmoo. Of course, it’s vegan and it’s packed in super awesome lunch boxes. It’s really cute.
Today Ms. Shmoo posts about her son’s failing health. It appears that shmoo lives in a home where his mom is vegan and his dad isn’t. And, mom did not dictate his dietary choices. As shmoo ages, he eats more animal foods. She says that her husband recently started buying raw, unpasterized milk and that her son drinks large glasses of the milk. He gained weight and also health problems, starting with allergies and ending up with asthma.
Jennifer Shmoo says she believes that the milk caused these problems for her son. He has been milk free for about three weeks and says he feels different.
Personally, I feel for Jennifer Shmoo. You can tell she loves her son very much and really wants to be a good mom and role model. What do you think? Could you, as a vegan, be married to or date a non-vegan? What about raising children? How would you decide what to do?
what! as a vegan i could not be in a relationship with a non-vegan any more than i could be in a relationship with a racist bigot, a religious fundamentalist, a communist, a fascist, or a serial killer! veganism is a deep-rooted philosophy that cannot be compromised for tall glasses of milk.
i am facing those issues now. i’m engaged to a meat eater, which isn’t a huge ordeal in and of itself. however, the fights have already started about raising children. i don’t want to force ideas upon my children and make them become vegan, but i do intend on raising them as vegans up to the point that they can make educated decisions for themselves. i imagine with the understanding they will gain as children of the suffering involved in non-vegan diets they would naturally decide to be vegan themselves. however, my fiance does not agree. not only is he a meat-eater, but he eats whatever looks good, which is never remotely healthy. so, needless to say i do not want children inheritting his life style. but at this rate he’ll be dead soon enough i won’t have to worry about it.
There are so many facets to this question. I suppose if I weren’t married already I’d be a vegansexual, no doubt. When my husband and I got married we were both omnivores, then I went vegetarian and never had meat in my house, however hubby would eat meat at work/restaurants etc. Then 2 years ago when faced with factory farming and the inhumane production of meat and dairy we went vegan on the same day. Our kids were at the time 6 and 3 and after a talk with them they decided to be vegetarians. They have since made the transition to nearly vegan (still can’t turn milk chocolate or cookies offered by omnivores) They know about some of the reasons, they haven’t seen the gruesome aspects but they’ve seen how chickens and pigs are crammed into cages and they themselves decided not to add to their suffering and are revolted by other people eating meat. I think it would have been easier for them had they started out vegan from birth, but trying to get a 3 year old to give up something he likes so much for reasons he’s too little to understand isn’t easy. And I want for them to decide on their own rather than force it on them, that way I feel it will be a choice they carry into adulthood. It is hard for them sometimes to watch other kids not care about what they put into their bodies, not just animal products but aspartame, food colors and artificial ingredients as well, and I try to give them the facts but at their age the evils of aspartame are too abstract.
I just figure I’ll try to show them what is behind the food they eat, the trash they produce and the effects of everything they do on the environment, and hope that they take all that in and care about animals and the planet as their parents do, but there are no guaranties.
I’m glad Natalie and I both turned vegan and didn’t have to worry about this mess for when we have our first bundle of joy.
We’re lucky in the religion part, too, since we’re both agnostic.
The complications these days between diets, religion and politics… who says we were too complicated back when interracial couples were taboo?
i’m married to a non-vegan. and we dont have kids- yet. but we did come to an agreement that i can mostly deal with. since i will be the one most likely feeding any of our children- i get to choose what they eat. no one will give them meat or animal products. at an older age- they wll be able to make an educated decision for themselves about what they want to eat. i dont feel it’s right to force someone else into veganism but i do hope that my example (and position as caregiver) will influence our children’s decisions about what they choose to eat.
I turned vegan after I got married and my two biological boys are now pescitarian (I’m a bad speller). One of my boys still drinks milk, the other one only soy. They both eat cheese. I have made the trasition very easily by accepting that this is my choice and not anyone elses. I respect the fact that my hubby eats meat and never harp on him. Had I been vegan before we met, it would have been an issue. But when it comes to my childs health, if I see or know something isn’t good for him, he will not eat it without a fight from me. I have tried to get my kids to stop dairy, but they like it too much. At home they rarely have it.
The important thing is to give your loved ones a chance. Sometimes it can take years. My husband and I started dating many years ago. I was a big meat/dairy eater. He a vegetarian. Through the commitment and compassion his family (most vegans) had shown, I have learned to be more compassionate and educate myself regarding these issues. I am now a vegan and he has turned to veganism. Sure you can’t force your beliefs on your loved ones but surely those that love you back learn from you and one day, like me, will see the light.
I think that’s a beautiful example of what veganism really is all about. Love and compassion. And, most importantly one educating another in a respectful manner. Thank you for sharing with us :)
First of all, I am currently cooking from “Vegan Lunch Box”. Last night I made the PB&J muffins and they were amazing. I am vegan since October of 2008. I have 4 kids and a husband, and they have balked, except for the 19 month old, who is allergic to all animal products except beef. Anyway, our church is collectivley doing a Daniel Fast (no animal products, preservatives, etc.) for 21 days and I am THRILLED!! All animal products are gone from my home. I drove 3 hours to whole foods and stocked up on so many great things and I am showing my family how wonderful vegan food can be. To answer the question, I think it’s difficult to be “unequally yoked” with a spouse or someone you are dating. My spouse respects my decision to be vegan, and when he wants meat, he knows he has to go purchase it and cook it for himself. If something ever happened to my marriage, I would not date or marry a non-vegan. I will continue to keep a positive attitude about my lifestyle and try not to push my family away, and I feel that eventually they will come around. Great books like “Veganomicon” and “The Vegan Lunchbox” are a huge help!!
I am strict vegan, my dh is not. We started dating in high school before I became vegan. I would have a much harder time now dating a non vegan. As for my dh, he is a very compassionate person and has grown over the years. He no longer eats red meat, drinks soy milk, etc. and I am hoping he will continue on this path.
As for our kids, it was a deal breaker. I told him I would not have children if I could not raise them as vegans. There was no way I would bring more meat eaters into this world.
So, if I was not married, here are my thoughts;
on the one side, I would have a hard time dating someone who was not compassionate enough to live a vegan lifestyle. However, I think some people just don’t realize things. Some people are good and just uninformed. I see that my dh has changed his eating habits quite a lot and that he may not have made those changes if he wasn’t married to a vegan, therefore, maybe by my being with a non vegan, I am making more of a difference. Ok, I don’t know, I am now rambling, but you get the idea.
Dear vegancharlie:
You defined very well what kind of people vegans are:
Someone that considers themselves, “superior, Compassionate, with the “proper” etic and moral, and poor man kind are something like an inferior race, or ignorant or.. and so on.
Where did i eard this before? OH! JA! those ones that you describe:
“a racist bigot, a religious fundamentalist, a communist, a fascist, or a serial killer! “
I am a vegan dating a non-veg. I hate it. My other half used to be a full blown meat eater without a care in the world and then started dating me. When this happened the idea was pondered on for the first time and vegetarianism was given a try. For almost three years. I got used to this. Meat was only eaten a couple times of year when home made dishes were provided that gave way to heavily traditional and nostalgic feelings that the temptation could not be avoided. This, I could handle and we could share a lot. I love sharing with the ones I love. Little did I know that my own beliefs and their strength made the decision making on the other end horrible and crippling and that gave way to resentment and a horrible feeling of not being able to make ones own choices. It exploded. We almost broke up. We are coning to the understanding that this will not go away for either of us and the decision is, on my part a life long past and future and the focus of my life personally and professionally and on the other part this is the way of life for him, it has been and while not closed to vegan dishes, veganism is not a chosen way of life, and may never be. Learning the acceptance has been and is the hardest. I have to get over the fact that meat will be consumed by this person that I love. What does that mean for me? I love this person, even though they chose to participate in a life style that I find cruel and unnecessary, harmful and disgusting, horrifying and spiritually dangerous, thoughtless, heartless and unhealthy and……. reality; the social norm. My so’s perspective is that of, I need to be able to make my own choices, I don’t see how an animals life is any more or less than my own, if it got to me first I couldn’t be upset because it is nature. It is messed up that the animals have to suffer for me to eat, but that is this life. I don’t want the ridicule from my family and friends and I don’t want to have a disconnect form my culture and I will never force my decisions on anyone. I am open to vegetarian cooking and have reduced the amount of meat I eat, but have to stand my ground for the things I want.
Very compelling, however the break is still there. My s.o. thinks I should not worry about the meat eating, it is not my choice and that is fine. But I am faced with the reality that this changes who that person is. How can I stay with and therefore vicariously condone the consumption of animal products and … be okay with it… I don’t know what will happen but we are going to try. As for kids… I have no clue….