By Published On: 14 February 2012211 words1.3 min read

Every Valentine’s Day, I publish an array of awful animal-themed vintage valentines and title it, Vegan Illustratus.

Vegan Illustratus (n): enlighten vegan philosophy, clarify vegan ethics, to provide with visual features intended to explain vegan theory and demonstrate institutionalized animal use.

I love vintage valentine cards.  I love the whimsical designs, the always-corny puns, and the sometimes unintentional creepiness that can come with the puns.  Sometimes, however, sometimes there’s just no words. 

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I present to you this years awful animal-themed vintage valentine cards.

“Hope you like this cute little angry kitty that I pissed off by pulling his/her tail and then brought to you for angry little snuggles. Be Mine!”

“Nothing says “I Love You” like Winky the Butcher with his meat cleaver and fully plucked dead goose.”

“Yes please, get on this paper and stick around valentine- stick around until you perish.”

Wherein “game” is the euphemism for “shoot you dead,” and vintage hunters use astronaut helmets for safety.

“Love is…getting your tail in a horrible, painful metal trap valentine!”

This Valentine’s Day, choose compassion.  There is no greater (love) gift.

For more vintage awfulness, check out Vegan Illustratus: 1st Annual Valentine’s Day Edition!

By Published On: 14 February 2012211 words1.3 min read

Every Valentine’s Day, I publish an array of awful animal-themed vintage valentines and title it, Vegan Illustratus.

Vegan Illustratus (n): enlighten vegan philosophy, clarify vegan ethics, to provide with visual features intended to explain vegan theory and demonstrate institutionalized animal use.

I love vintage valentine cards.  I love the whimsical designs, the always-corny puns, and the sometimes unintentional creepiness that can come with the puns.  Sometimes, however, sometimes there’s just no words. 

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I present to you this years awful animal-themed vintage valentine cards.

“Hope you like this cute little angry kitty that I pissed off by pulling his/her tail and then brought to you for angry little snuggles. Be Mine!”

“Nothing says “I Love You” like Winky the Butcher with his meat cleaver and fully plucked dead goose.”

“Yes please, get on this paper and stick around valentine- stick around until you perish.”

Wherein “game” is the euphemism for “shoot you dead,” and vintage hunters use astronaut helmets for safety.

“Love is…getting your tail in a horrible, painful metal trap valentine!”

This Valentine’s Day, choose compassion.  There is no greater (love) gift.

For more vintage awfulness, check out Vegan Illustratus: 1st Annual Valentine’s Day Edition!

Leave a Comment

What do you think? Tell me in the comments.
All comments subject to the terms here.