Cat on Fire: Bernie’s Message to Humans

By Amanda Crow, Guest Contributor

Hello, humans out there.  Listen up!  My name is Bernie, and I have a message for you that must begin with my story.

It’s hard to remember my life before this, but everything changed for me when I was attacked.  More specifically, horrible creatures tied my legs together, lit me on fire, and threw me on someone’s front porch.  Luckily, a kind human was around to save me from death.  At this point, the local SPCA took me in, and I wound up at a veterinarian clinic for treatment.

It was awful.  The tips of my ears were so burnt that they broke off.  I now have bear ears, which make me look spectacularly awesome.  My recovery was long and painful.  Burns suck…as they heal, they become extremely itchy.  It was a battle with my caregivers as I wanted to scratch the hell out of myself.

Once I was well enough to find a home with nice humans, I had to leave the clinic.  An employee couldn’t see me go, so she took me home.  I have been living with her and my fellow companions for five human years now.

If I don’t say so myself, I am a quirky cat and damned proud!  I like my feline friends, but I am really a pit bull lover.  Actually, I love to give love.  I don’t like waiting for invitations either, so I force myself into a position where I can rub all over their face.  On a side note, seriously, why can’t humans understand that sometimes I want to sit on their lap but don’t want to be touched? Ugh, so annoying! Also, I enjoy peeing on the things of humans that love me most…I’m just testing their love.

I started my life on the streets, so scavenging is my game.  I’ve been compared to Templeton, the rat in Charlotte’s Web.  I mean, so what if I’ve scarfed a giant piece of green pepper when it fell out of a burrito?  Surely you vegans can appreciate dietary diversity!

When humans hear my story, it makes them sad, and they feel sorry that I was so horribly mistreated.  “How could anyone hurt an animal?!?”  To be honest, this really annoys me.  As a feline, my body requires animal protein (although I thoroughly enjoy corn on the cob).  But you goofy things don’t need it.

Here’s the thing….I got a second chance.  Even the pain I experienced is nothing compared to what my fellow animals go through from birth to their painful deaths.  If I was a pig or a cow or a chicken, would I deserve the cruelty I experienced?  As jaded as I am, I still believe most humans would say no.  So why do they pay someone to do worse things to smart, nice creatures?  It doesn’t make sense.  Learn from my suffering, and look at all animals as if they were your companion animal  – cat, dog, fish, horse, rabbit, chicken, etc.

From a cat that was literally on fire, this is my message to the world.  Stopping cruelty in any form begins with the cruelty on your plate.  End feline cruelty.  End all cruelty.  Go Vegan.

P.S. Yes, I wrote this…I just couldn’t physically type it.  So it was dictated through my human. The least she can do…

Photo Credit: Amanda Crow