Kate Plus 8 and a Dash of Disconnect

By Daria Zeoli, Guest Contributor

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably already figured out that I’m somewhat snarky, and I watch a bit too much television. I’ve been on a much more compassionate journey since I went vegan, but I must admit, that compassion hasn’t extended to the hate-watching I tend to do with reality television shows. Hate is such a strong word, I know. And do I really “hate” people on television? No, I don’t know them. But I tend to watch them with fascination: are they as horrible as they seem? Did they just say what I think they said?

I think I’m about to watch Kate Gosselin exploit lobsters. Why? I mean, she exploits her kids, and that’s bad enough. — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

I am aware, by the way, that by watching “reality” programs, I am a part of the problem. I need to try harder. — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

Last week’s episode of the recently-resurrected Kate Plus 8 featured a storyline where Kate and her kids went out to catch lobsters to cook and eat for dinner. The entire event was a study in the disconnect we make between animals we eat and animals we don’t.

“Lobsters are despicably ugly, but I don’t like to kill anything so I was already mourning their death.” – Kate Gosselin — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 201

“Despicably ugly?” Really? I assume Kate Gosselin knows nothing about lobsters. That’s not an insult; most of us don’t. But, actually, lobsters are freaking cool. It’s important that we talk about the lives of animals, because that’s the only way people will start seeing them as individuals with lives.  I thought it was really interesting that Kate said she was “already mourning” the death of the lobsters she was catching for dinner. It speaks a lot to how we eat animals. The great majority of them were already dead and cut into pieces by the time any of us planned our meals for the week. Seeing a package of ground beef or chicken breasts in the meat case at the supermarket makes it much easier to disconnect from where the package came from. Seeing a lobster moving around before you take it home to boil brings the act of what is done for your food home.  The Gosselins are a big brood (it is, after all, the reason any of us know them), so they presumably had to catch a lot of lobsters. Not surprisingly, some of the kids started to “befriend” the lobsters, even giving some of them names. One of the boys even said something like “Well, at least they’ve got their souls.”

“Animals don’t have souls. Did you learn this on a game on your iPad or something?” WHY AM I WATCHING THIS SHOW? — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

Listen, I know that we all have different beliefs about whether heaven and hell and God exist or not, and I suppose we also have different beliefs as to whether any of us have souls. I like to think we do. I don’t think I’m just the organic matter that makes up my physical body. I’d like to think the feelings I have and the thoughts I think are part of a greater energy than blood and tissue and water. For me to think that, I also have to think that animals have feelings and thoughts and a greater energy than their blood and tissue and water. And I think it’s kind of shitty for Kate Gosselin to tell her son that he’s wrong about animals having souls, and to tell him that it must have been something he learned on a game on his iPad. But, see, her scoffing at his statement isn’t surprising at all. It’s part of the way we cope with what we do. If animals had souls, it would be just a little harder to eat them, wouldn’t it? So, the Gosselins eventually return home for dinner, which doesn’t go as Kate planned. The “little” kids (who are ten, can we call them something else now?) are understandably upset:

Watching Gosselin kids freak out re: boiling lobsters & Kate describe what it was like to have her pet rabbit killed for food as a kid (1/2) — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

further strengthens my belief that children KNOW animals are here with us, not for us. WE change that inherent belief. (2/2) — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

Kate understands her kids’ reactions because her father killed her pet rabbits when she was a kid and made her eat them for dinner. She doesn’t want to put them through that. And really, it’s nice to see Kate have a compassionate, maternal moment on camera. But more importantly, it strengthens the idea that children are inherently in tune with animals being with us and not for us. I’ve heard time and again how farm kids are told not to name the pigs or cows that live on the farm. I’ve watched adults cry at the memory of their pet pig being slaughtered and chopped up into pork chops destined for the freezer chest. Kids don’t come into the world thinking it’s okay to treat animals as commodities; they are taught to think that way. So, after Kate connects her kids and the lobsters to those poor pet rabbits she had as a child, she agrees to let them set the lobsters free and takes them back to the ocean… and promptly goes to the store to buy lobsters that are already dead.

“Let’s not kill THESE lobsters… we’ll put them back in the sea & go buy dead ones at the store.” Speaks to how we view food. — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

“Food” is disconnected from the living beings that are killed to make it. It’s the only way most of us cope with what we eat. — Daria Zeoli (@dariazeoli) January 22, 2015

The Gosselins have perfectly exemplified the disconnect that runs rampant in our society when it comes to how we view animals and how we view food. It’s so much easier to view something in the abstract when you don’t have to see its origins. And, as a vegan, I carry this disconnect with me today. I have to. How else would I be able to push my cart past the meat and dairy cases at the store? How else would I be able to share a meal with a non-vegan at a non-vegan restaurant? I use this same coping skill when I read a horror novel – I would never be able to watch the violence in movie form, but I have read countless Stephen King novels, depicting countless violent acts, and been able to skim over them and “block out” what those words mean.  Life is hard. Society’s constructs are hard. The great disconnect we all become well-versed in is, unfortunately, crucial to coping.  Veganism is a way to reconnect, at least in some ways.

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